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You Can Kiss All Of That Bye-Bye

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These days, I’m inclined to think that my eccentric parents are going insane. I consider flying back home to see if this is true because these things are hard to gauge via video chat. They look crazy when we talk. Perhaps they are displaying the first signs of dementia, but how can I be sure? Last week, as my mother goes on and on about some cooking show that she likes to watch, my father thrusts his face across my computer screen. Babygirl, he says, Your mother is controlling my thoughts through her food. When you come home, you’re going to find a zombified version of me and don’t say that I didn’t warn you. Afterwards, my mother adjusts the camera onto her face and resumes talking about shrimp frittata.


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